Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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