I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
