You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
