just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
