So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
