he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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