he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
