So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
