Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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