he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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