So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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