I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
