I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We named our party play list daddy issues
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
