and she was petting her beer can
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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