he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
