we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
try to milk me bitch
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