he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
