That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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