And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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