good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize