I must be too annoying 4 u.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
