Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
