As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
