in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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