miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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