Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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