you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
