I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
