guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
