Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
