You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
