i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
