My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize