My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
