just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
