this boner is exhausting
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
