Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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