I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
