how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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