Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
