I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also, beer. Big fan.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
