I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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