UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
