Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
