I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
