If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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