i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I will pee on everything he values.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
