It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
