I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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