i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Ladies don't puke and tell
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize