Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
