loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
