If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
