Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
