we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
