All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
