are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
