you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
