This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
