exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
