thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
