So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
