I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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