You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
